I Should've Been After You
by dqwhit19
Summary: Bella has set her best friend Edward up on a number of dates with her girl friends, but none of them went well. Is he too picky, or is he just looking in all the wrong places? My entry for the Twi-High Anonymous Contest, with a few revisions.


"**Twi-High Anonymous Challenge" **

**Penname: dqwhit19**

**Story Title: I Should've Been After You**

**Summary: Bella has set her best friend Edward up on a number of dates with her girl friends, but none of them went well. Is he too picky, or is he just looking in all the wrong places?**

**Primary Players: Edward and Bella**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just like to play with her characters.**

"How was your date on Friday?" I asked Edward as we sat in Biology class.

He shrugged. "It was alright. Maria's extremely hot," he said, his eyes glazing with lust slightly. I rolled my eyes, and he grinned sheepishly. "But she's really into science, huh?"

"Yeah, she wants to be a doctor," I said. Shouldn't he know that? I mean, Maria tells that to everyone she spends longer than five minutes with…

"I think she mentioned that," he said, scratching his jaw thoughtfully. "All that talk about stem cell research makes sense, then. I wondered if maybe she was just super nerdy."

I laughed. "Edward, anyone who has goals in life past running track in college is nerdy to you."

He grinned again. "You're right. But Maria seemed especially nerdy. I don't think I'm going to ask her out again."

I turned to face forward, since Mr. Banner was beginning class, and heaved a quiet sigh of relief. I'd known he and Maria wouldn't work out, despite her stellar looks, since she had her sights set on Johns Hopkins and not much else. But Edward was "looking for love," as he'd told me a month ago, so I was setting him up with all my girl friends.

No matter how much it killed me inside.

Because Edward was my best friend, had been since middle school when I moved here from Phoenix, and I would never risk that by confessing my feelings. I'd rather have this little part of him than none at all. And I'd proven my friendship these past weeks, setting him up with Lauren, Tanya, Kate, Charlotte, and most recently Maria, all the while slowly yet surely breaking my own heart. It happened the same way each time: I'd give Edward a phone number, he'd call her and set up a date, I'd worry myself into an early grave before the date imagining the two of them getting serious and how I could possibly bear it, they'd go out and I'd spend the night dying inside picturing him kissing her, and the next day I'd sing the Hallelujah chorus when Edward said she wasn't the one he wanted. Then I'd rain curses when he asked for the next phone number.

After class was over, Edward turned to me. "So I want to try another date."

_Please say you want _me_, please ask me out…_

"Can you give me Jessica's number?"

I forced a smile and turned away before he could see the agony in my eyes. "Sure."

~*~*~*~*~

The next Friday I pulled into the Forks High School parking lot, my ancient truck rumbling extra loudly this morning, and cursed the bright sunlight filtering through the clouds. Why did the sun decide to come out today of all days, when I was nursing the hangover from hell?

Of course, it was my own stupid fault for getting drunk on a school night, but when the love of my life was on a date with someone else, someone far prettier and skinnier than me, I think a little overindulgence could be excused. I'd only wanted to drink enough to be able to fall asleep without imagining in detail what he and Jessica might be doing in the backseat of his beloved Volvo, but one nip from Charlie's secret tequila stash turned into seven chugs and now the sun was stabbing my eyeballs and my truck was abusing my eardrums.

I heaved myself out of my truck and wished for the hundredth time that my dad Charlie weren't so observant- if I'd been able to eat some grease instead of my usual cereal, that certainly would have helped the current roiling in my stomach.

"Bella!" I heard Edward yell across the lot. I grimaced and turned slowly, trying not to move my head too fast, and saw him jogging toward me.

God, why did he have to be so beautiful? His sexy reddish hair, his strong jaw, his gorgeous green eyes, that banging body… Sigh. My nipples tightened at the sight and I thanked baby Jesus I was wearing my new padded Victoria's Secret bra so he wouldn't be able to tell. That was the last thing I needed today.

"You look like shit," he said, as soon as he caught up to me.

"Gee, thanks," I replied, blushing. Of course, the one day I don't try very hard because my head is trying to split in two is the one day he decides to notice my appearance.

He laughed. "Sorry. That came out wrong. Rough night?"

I shrugged. "You could say that." _Yes, in fact, I spent the whole night drinking myself into a stupor, pining over your hot ass._ "How was yours, though? Did you guys have fun?"

This time it was his turn to shrug. "I guess. Jessica's a nice girl, if you can handle the nonstop gossip and her checking her reflection in any somewhat mirrored surface."

"I warned you about that," I laughed.

"I was glad she wanted to go to a movie, because I'm not sure how much more yabbering I could take," he confessed. "I don't know how you take it, honestly."

We began making our way into the school, and I smiled at Angela and Ben as we passed. They were so cute, holding hands and smiling at each other… and I was so jealous. _What I wouldn't give to have Edward look at me like that…_ "It's not too bad if you zone out every once in awhile. As long as you nod your head, she has no idea you're not really listening."

"Well, I'm not going to worry about it, because I'm definitely not asking her out again. Once was plenty."

We made it to my locker and I opened it and hid my face in it so he wouldn't see the pain I knew was plain to see as I said, "You want me to fix you up with Irina, then? I'm pretty sure she's the only one of my friends that you haven't tried yet." I tried to inject some playfulness into my voice for that last sentence, but I'm not sure I pulled it off. It was getting harder and harder to offer my friends up to him when all I really wanted to do was offer myself… _naked on a silver platter…_

"I dunno... She's the skinny blonde, right?"

"The one who looks like a Russian supermodel," I sighed.

"She doesn't look that good," he protested. _Well, there go my chances, then_. My boring brown hair, dull brown eyes, and unremarkable body definitely couldn't get his attention if he didn't think Irina was pretty.

I slammed my locker shut and didn't look at him. "Do you want me to or not?"

He huffed and turned to walk to our first class, English. "I guess. I'm just getting so tired of just going out on endless first dates. I want a relationship. A real one, like my sister has with Jasper."

"That's why you asked me to set you up with my friends," I pointed out, trying not to sound hurt.

"I know, I know. But none of them sparked my interest at all. Don't get me wrong, they're all nice girls- they're your friends, of course they're nice- but I just didn't feel anything… special, I guess. God, I don't even know what I'm saying," he rambled, running his long fingers through his hair. _I can do that for you, if only you'd let me…_

"I can understand," I said softly. "You want to feel electricity."

"Exactly!" he said, gesturing wildly. "That sounds so girly, but it's true. I want to have what Alice and Jazz have, where you can just look at them and know that they're crazy in love. That what they have together is special." He sighed heavily. "I guess I'll just have to wait until college to find her."

I didn't trust myself to respond without a sob, so I just kept quiet as we entered our classroom and took our seats. Because we had assigned seats in this class, he sat close to the front, while I was near the back. Normally I rued the distance between us, but today I needed it. My emotions were getting the better of me, and if I wasn't careful, I was going to fall to my knees and beg him to love me.

I spent the rest of class trying to get a hold of myself, and I thought I'd done a pretty good job until stupid Mr. Grover asked Edward to read one of Shakespeare's sonnets and tell us what it meant. Hearing his low, velvety voice read some of the most romantic words ever written made my imagination go haywire with visions of picket fences and bronze-haired, brown-eyed babies and us holding each other tenderly in a hammock in our backyard…

"Bella, do you agree with Mr. Cullen?"

I flinched and felt my face bloom. "Wh-what?" I asked, confused at being wrenched so quickly out of my lovely daydream and embarrassed at being the center of attention.

"Do you think Mr. Cullen's assessment of this sonnet is correct?"

I swallowed, and saw Edward look at me pleadingly out of the corner of my eye. He wasn't very good at this subject, and it was my best. "Um… yes?"

Mr. Grover rolled his eyes but thankfully decided to pick on someone else. I let out a breath of relief and Edward shot me a crooked smile, melting my heart. Sigh.

The rest of the morning was spent in an Edward-smile-induced haze, and I barely remember anything we covered in Spanish and Calculus. It was ridiculous the effect one little quirk of his perfect face had on me after all these years! _I'd love to see what other parts of his body could do to me…_

But that wasn't ever going to happen, no matter how much I wished and prayed and bargained with God for it.

This last time, with Jessica, had been the worst, which brought on the drinking. I'd been saving her phone number, since she was easily my most attractive friend, and also the one who had been pestering me about Edward from day one. I'd been terrified that she would work her feminine wiles and be the girl to convince him to try a relationship. I was thankful she'd clearly failed, but I'd learned last night that I simply couldn't keep this up. I guess I was happy that Edward had given up on his dream girl search, then.

But why, oh why, couldn't he see what was right in front of him? I could totally be the one, if I were a bit prettier. We had similar tastes, I could make him laugh, and I know he found me at least a little attractive, because he'd gotten a boner once as I climbed out of water at the beach. He didn't have to wait for college- I was right here!

My heart felt heavy as I went through the lunch line. I'd hoped that my feelings for him would decrease, the longer I felt the sting of his rejection. But no, the universe decided it liked to make me suffer, and I knew I was more in love with him today than the day I'd first realized my crush. If this pattern kept up, by the time we left high school I wouldn't even be able to see other guys!

I plopped my tray down on the table Edward and I shared with Alice and Jasper every day. "Hey guys," I said quietly, sitting down.

Alice smiled at me. "Hey Bella! You look like you were rode hard and put away wet last night," she said, waggling her eyebrows.

I blushed. "Just had a little too much to drink, that's all."

Jasper looked surprised. "On a school night? Our Bella Swan? No way!"

"Sometimes even I need to forget things for awhile," I mumbled, and took a bite of the rubbery cafeteria pizza.

Alice gave me a long look, then reached over and grabbed my hand. "Don't worry, Bella. Edward will wake up soon enough."

I looked up, startled, and nearly spilled my lemonade all over the table. "What?!"

She shared a look with Jasper, and they both smirked at me. "You don't really think you've fooled us this whole time, do you?" Jasper asked.

"Come on, Bella. You look at him like he's the last piece of chocolate in the bag on the first day of your period," Alice added.

I felt my face burn with embarrassment. "Does he know?" I finally asked, not even bothering to deny it.

"Oh, he has no idea!" Alice laughed. "It's almost comical, the way you guys interact with each other."

"I wish I could see it like that," I grumbled, and laid my head on my arms after shoving my tray away, my appetite gone.

"What's wrong, Bella?" I heard Edward ask, walking up to the table.

"Guy problems," Alice said matter-of-factly. I could have killed her.

Edward sat down next to me, his tray jostling the table where my head was resting and making it hurt worse. "Since when do you have guy problems?"

_Since I realized I was in love with you…_ "None of your beeswax, Cullen," I groaned, lifting my head back up. My stomach was hurting again, and suddenly my pizza slice looked appetizing.

He looked at me with concern. "Do you want to talk about it?"

I heard Alice and Jasper snickering, and I tried to kick both of them under the table. I only connected with Jazz, since Alice's tiny legs barely reached the floor. "Not really."

"Well, I'm here if you want me," he said, and took a bite of his pizza. My eyes widened at his words and Alice snorted loudly. "What?" he asked after he swallowed.

"What if she wants you?" Alice asked, still laughing heartily.

Edward looked confused for a moment, then realized what he said and smiled sheepishly. "You know what I meant," he said. "Besides, you don't want me like that," he added quietly, so quietly I almost didn't catch it.

I spent the rest of lunch trying to determine if maybe I should get my ears checked while Alice chattered happily about the upcoming school dance. Did Edward really say what I think he said? And was that a hint of… _sadness_ I heard in his voice?

As the bell rang and we all got up to go to Biology, I shook my head. There was no way I'd heard correctly. He was too perfect for me, and I was nothing but a big blob of plain next to all the girls I'd recently set him up with. If they weren't enough, there was no way I was.

Sitting next to him in Biology was a daily torture, because his smell and the possibility our hands might brush on the lab table nearly always sent my girly parts into a frenzy, but today was even worse than normal because he looked so angry, staring forward at Mr. Banner and not even glancing my way. What had I said? Did I make my reluctance to give him Irina's phone number too obvious? Or, even worse, had he picked up on Alice's not-so-subtle undertones about my feelings for him?

He shot out of the classroom as soon as the bell rang, and I dragged my feet to gym slowly. I spent the entirety of that class trying not to injure myself or others, which thankfully took up my brain capacity for an hour. But as soon as I got redressed and made my way to the parking lot, my feelings hit me again full force. All this emotion all the time couldn't be healthy. I really needed to figure out how to get rid of this ridiculous, futile crush before my heart became mangled beyond repair. Maybe I should just take Jake up on his standing offer for a date…

I was so caught up in deciding what I should do that I didn't even notice Edward in front of me until I walked right into him.

"Oof!" I squealed, falling backward.

"Bella!" he groaned, and caught me before I could hit the ground, like always. "Don't you ever watch where you're walking?" he asked angrily, still holding on to my arms.

I frowned at his hostile tone. "Well _excuse_ me!" I huffed, and yanked my arms out of his grasp.

"Bella, wait!" he called as I marched around him and to my truck. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. It's just… can we talk?" he asked, looking very uncomfortable.

My heart stopped. _Oh, shit._ I guess today was the day I'd been dreading- the day he figured out I liked him, and had to tell me I had no chance. _Fucking Alice and her loud mouth!_ "About what?" I asked, trying not to cry.

"Let's go to my house," he said quickly. He grabbed my arm again and dragged me to his Volvo while I put up little resistance- I was too shaken up trying to imagine how I would cope without him.

"Edward, you're killing me here," I finally said, after we'd been driving in silence for a few minutes. "Why can't we just talk in the car?"

He grimaced. "I just want a little privacy, that's all."

My mind reeled at what that might mean. I guess I was thankful he didn't want to break our friendship with tons of witnesses? But why wasn't the Volvo good enough for that? _Probably because he knows you won't be able to drive home through all your snotty tears..._

We got to his huge house outside of town much quicker than I wanted. I needed more time to compose myself, dammit!

He pulled me upstairs as soon as we got inside. "Where's Esme?" I asked, not hearing her usual activity in the kitchen. Most days after school she was in there, baking cookies or cakes for the nursing home down the street, or planning her family's meals for the week. Esme absolutely loved to cook.

"She's in Seattle today for some bakers' conference," Edward replied, pulling me into his bedroom and shutting and locking the door. I was surprised at that- did he think Alice was going to try to stick her nose in?

"Have a seat," he said awkwardly, dumping his backpack on the ground. I wished I'd brought mine in so I had something to occupy my shaking hands. I decided to sit on his black leather sofa rather than his giant bed, because even with all my angst I wasn't sure I wouldn't jump on him given the chance.

"Please, Edward, just spit it out," I begged, when he was still silent a few minutes later. "I can't handle this any longer."

"You think this is easy for me?" he exploded, shoving his hands into his hair and sitting heavily on his bed.

My eyes widened at his outburst. He was clearly very frustrated. "What's on your mind, Edward?" I asked quietly, yearning to go over and comfort him, but afraid of what I might hear at the moment.

"God, Bella, I have no idea how to say this."

"Then don't," I pled. "Please, don't do this. I can't take it." Tears began running down my face without my consent, and I prayed I'd put on waterproof mascara that morning.

When he looked up at me, his eyes were sad and troubled. "But I don't know if I can take this-" he gestured between us- "any longer. It's too hard."

I dropped to the floor and crawled over to him on my knees, all dignity forgotten. I couldn't lose him like this. "Edward, I can change. I can. I'll figure out how to get rid of these feelings and then we can go back to normal! Please," I sobbed.

His brow furrowed in confusion. "What feelings?"

I stilled. "Wait. What?"

"You said you would get rid of some feelings. What feelings?" he pressed.

Oh, God. Have I somehow misinterpreted this whole thing? He was probably just being melodramatic about some girl again, and I had totally confessed my feelings, and now I would die from humiliation, because once he gets going he never gives up… "I'm confused. What were _you_ talking about?" I asked, trying to distract him.

He sighed. "Bella, I really don't know how to say this, other than to just say it." He took a deep breath and looked me straight in the eye. "I'm in love with you."

My heart, lungs, and pretty much the whole world stopped. "What?" I whispered.

He got down on his knees in front of me and grabbed my hands. "I was on that first date with Lauren for five minutes before I realized who I really wanted to be sitting with. I don't know how I was so stupid, Bella. But you never seemed to return my feelings, so I kept going on dates with your friends, thinking that's what you wanted. But I can't do it anymore. I want _you_."

"I don't understand," I said, finally taking a breath. I was sorely tempted to pinch myself to ascertain that this wasn't a dream, but Edward was holding my fingers.

He smiled wryly. "I told you I wanted to find the one for me, and I very quickly realized that this whole time I should have been looking right in front of me. Please, please tell me you'll think about going on a date with me," he begged, bringing my hands up to kiss them.

"But you never said anything…"

"How could I? You're my best friend, and I didn't want to lose that. But I'm so tired of pretending. I needed you to know how I truly felt."

I just stared at him, shocked beyond belief. He wanted me? Jessica, Lauren, and the others weren't good enough for him, but I was? I looked into his eyes, searching for doubt or insincerity, but there was none. Only… love?

"Edward, I can't believe this is happening," I confessed.

He looked pained. "Please tell me that I won't lose you. Even though you don't feel the same way, please still be my friend, Bella."

My eyes widened. "That's not what I meant!" I shouted quickly, causing him to flinch. "I just can't believe that my dreams are actually coming true, right this second. The universe hates me too much for this."

"Wait… are you saying you like me, too?" he asked, hope beginning to swim in his beautiful eyes.

I smiled warmly at him. "Edward, I've been in love with you for years."

I don't know what I was expecting after finally saying that, but what happened wasn't it. He didn't say anything, just grabbed my face roughly and yanked my face to his, slamming his lips onto mine. He instantly shoved his tongue in my mouth and made an incredibly sexy noise when I rubbed mine against it. I moaned at his taste- how had I lived without this for so long?

He kissed me for long moments, until we were both panting. Finally, he pulled away from my mouth to shower wet kisses along my neck. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to hear that," he mumbled against my skin.

I leaned my head back so he could have more access. "Edward," I moaned.

"God, that sound is even better, Bella," he said, coming back up to look at me. "I want to hear it again."

"Then make me feel that way again," I taunted, confident now that I knew he returned my feelings.

He smirked and dove right in, kissing me until I was breathless once more. He began to move his hands, skimming along my curves and the waistline of my jeans, until he finally slid them under my shirt and up to my breasts.

"Edward," I moaned again, and I felt him smile against my mouth. He whipped my shirt over my head in the blink of an eye and moved down to kiss my cleavage above my bra, and my hands got their first chance to slide into that sexy hair. _Mmm, soft…_

"Edward!" I cried when he bit my nipple through the rough lace, and my hips bucked toward his.

"Let's move this to the bed, shall we?" he asked, smiling and gazing at me hungrily.

I blushed but stood when he did, eager to feel him all over me. I'd dreamt about this for so long, there was no way I wasn't taking it when it was offered.

We undressed ourselves slowly, each of us staring at the other. I sighed when he took off his shirt and saw his muscles, and he groaned when I shimmied out of my pants and he saw my tiny pink panties. His body was so gorgeous, like a piece of art, and I could tell by his growing erection that somehow he thought the same of me.

When we were finally naked, I bit my lip, suddenly nervous. "What's wrong, Bella?" he asked, crossing over to me.

"I'm a virgin," I confessed quietly.

"Oh, thank God," he said, gathering me into his arms and hugging me tightly.

"Why?" I asked, confused.

He pulled back to look me in the eye. "I would have to kill any fucker at Forks who saw you like this." His eyes swept over me again, desire blatant in them, and something low in my stomach reacted.

"Please," I said simply.

He grinned and pulled me onto the bed. "Tell me if anything I do hurts," he said in my ear, before gently nipping my earlobe. I nodded and closed my eyes, reveling in the feeling of Edward stretched out next to me with nothing between us.

He began slowly, touching me lightly, but before I could complain (I wasn't _that_ inexperienced, jeez) he was sucking and nibbling at my nipples. It felt amazing, and that feeling in my lower stomach squeezed a little tighter, causing me to rub my legs together.

"Someone's a little impatient," he breathed against my breast, chuckling.

"I've been waiting so long," I replied, humming in contentment.

"Don't worry, my Bella. I won't make you wait any longer." He kept his mouth on my nipple, but slid a hand down my stomach and into my curls. Once he got to my entrance, he groaned at how wet I was. "I can't believe I'm so lucky," he said, returning to my mouth to kiss me soundly. He delved two fingers into me, preparing me for something much larger, and I made appreciative noises against his lips.

"That feels so good," I moaned.

"I can make it feel better," he promised, and began to move down my body. I protested, having never had a boy down there before, but he shut me up with a long, slow lick up my pussy.

"Fuck!" I squealed in surprise, hoping none of the Cullens had come home and could hear me. He licked my clit, playing with it, while his fingers continued to explore inside me. My stomach tightened impossibly further, and I came quickly against his mouth and hand, biting my lip to keep my screams down.

When I was done, Edward came back up my body and settled himself between my legs. "I'm not sure how long I'm going to last," he said, looking ashamed.

I reached up and stroked his cheek. "That's ok, Edward. I'm just glad it's you."

He smiled at me and pushed into me, stretching me, and stopped when he felt my inner barrier. "This is going to hurt, Bella," he warned. I nodded and wrapped my hands around his arms, bracing myself. When he pushed through, it felt like someone was poking roughly into my insides, but it wasn't as bad as I'd feared. Some girls made it sound like they were being ripped in half.

"Are you okay?" he asked, once he was completely inside me.

"Just hold on a second," I said, trying to get used to the full feeling. I squirmed a little, and his upper body began to shake with the effort of holding back. It wasn't horrible, but it wasn't that comfortable either.

"Okay," I said finally, and hoped that this would be over quickly, like he'd said, so I could recover and we could make next time better.

Edward grunted and began to move, slowly at first, then faster. It began to feel kind of nice, actually, but long before I could feel that tightening feeling again, Edward groaned loudly and I felt his dick twitch inside me, releasing a warm liquid.

"Oh, shit!" he exclaimed, pulling out quickly. "I forgot a condom! Are you on the pill?"

I laughed at the terrified look on his face. "Yes, Edward, calm down."

"Fuck," he sighed, and flopped onto the bed next to me, breathing hard. I just laughed again and got up, rather sore between my legs, but feeling the intense need to go to the bathroom.

When I returned, Edward was still lying on the bed, with his arm over his face. Unsure of what would happen next, I climbed onto the bed, but didn't roll over to him.

"What are you doing? Get over here," he said, and pulled me next to him. He grabbed my leg and pulled it over his, and wrapped my arm around his body. "That's better," he said, running his hand up and down my back. I smiled and burrowed into him.

After awhile, he asked, "Does it hurt a lot?"

"I'm a little sore," I replied. "But nothing too bad."

"Good. That means we can do it again sooner."

I laughed. "We just got done!"

"I've been waiting too long to have you, Bella. Nothing is holding me back now, and I'm going to enjoy it."

I leaned up on my arm to look at him. His eyes were dancing mischievously. "Do I get any say in this?"

"Are you complaining? Didn't sound like it about twenty minutes ago," he said, quirking his eyebrow at me cockily.

"What does this mean, Edward?" I asked, the smile fading from my face. "I mean, for us?"

"What do you want it to mean?"

I rolled my eyes and hit him with the back of my hand. "Don't play games with me right now. I'm feeling a little fragile."

His smile faded as well and he reached his hand up to cup my head. "It means we're together. Boyfriend, girlfriend, whatever you want to call it. You and me."

My lips curved upwards automatically. "Really? You want me to be your girlfriend?"

It was his turn to roll his eyes. "Yes, Bella. What did you think my speech before was for? Just to get in your pants?"

"Maybe," I said, biting my lip.

"I didn't even begin to hope _that_ was going to happen. I just wanted you to be my girlfriend. The rest was icing on the cake," he said, bringing my head down to his to kiss me gently. Our mouths moved together easily, as I was getting used to what he liked and he began to realize what I liked.

I finally pulled back and looked at him. "You really love me?"

He smiled widely at me. "Yes."

"Alice is going to have a field day."

He nodded. "Probably."

"And my friends are going to be super pissed."

"Let them be. I don't care what anybody else thinks."

"Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"I think I might be ready to try again."

His eyes brightened and he sat up quickly. "Already?"

"Yeah."

"Hell, yes!" he said, and rolled me under him. "We have so much time to make up for."

"It's not my fault you're blind."

"Shut up, Bella," he said, and moved to kiss me.

I did.

For a longer, much nicer, time this time.


End file.
